PJ Jokes

1. What author would you suggest some one who wants to explore Australia ?
Sydney Sheldon :)

2. Which animal can pick up the maximum weight ?
Murga - Mohalle ko udata hein :)

Management Jokes

Joke 1

There was a question of 5 marks.

1. How to kill Ant?

Mix Chili Powder With Sugar
& Give It To Ant.
After Having That
The Ant Will Go In Search Of Water
Somewhere Near A Water Tank.
When The Ant Reaches The Tank,
Push It Into The Tank,
Now The Ant Fully Soaked In Water,
It Wil Go To Dry Himself Near Fire.
When It Reaches Near Fire,
Put A Bomb In Fire,
It Will Be Injured In The Blast.
Then Admit The Wounded Ant In Icu.
Remove Oxygen Mask & Kill It.

Don;t mess with management students, we can answer the question for 15 marks also.

http://www.smsblaze.com/

Joke 2

A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A small rabbit saw the crow, and asked him, “Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?”
The crow answered: “Sure, why not.”
So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
Management Lesson: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.

PJ Jokes - How to make one.

I just realized how PJ's are made.

1. Word play
2. Using same word having double meaning.
3. Using phrase of words

1. Word Play
Oxford means bell-gadi.

carpet - Use Car and go.

2. Using words having double meaning

Stationary & Stationery
Student getting late for exam ?

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

A work has to be done in New Delhi, whom would you chose ?
a) Operation Guy
b) Finance Guy
c) Marketing Guy

Ans
b) Finance Guy - He knows the capital well.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Steal/Steel + Principal/Principle.
desert/dessert

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3. Phrase
How would you go to Delhi while in u r room ?
Jet of Stream. Use jet to fly.

4. Technical Jargons
Why does Volatility always smile ?
Volatility smile.

PJ Shayeri - Season 1

Dharti se aasmaa tak, aasmaa se dharti tak
Dharti se aasmaa tak, aasmaa se dharti tak
Dharti se aasmaa tak, aasmaa se dharti tak
Dharti se aasmaa tak, aasmaa se dharti tak
[Audience: Are bhai, aage bhi to bolo.]
Hawa hi hawa hai.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Voh sadak ke is paar thi, hum sadak ke us par the
kuch hum aage badhe, kuch voh aage badhi
hum kuch aur aage badhe, voh bhi kuch aur aage badhi
hum kuch aur aage badhe, voh bhi kuch aur aage badhi
ab hum sadak ke us par the, aur voh sadak ke is par thi.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Tu ne mere man se khela,
Tu ne mere tan se khela,
Tu ne mere dil se khela,
Tu ne mere Dhan se khela,
Tu ne mere man, tan, dil aur dhan se khela,
...
Well Played, Well Played (Wah, Wah..)

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Door se dekha to Patthhar dikhta tha......
Door se dekha.. to Patthharr dikhtaa thaa.......
Paas jake dekha to... suchmuch Patthhar hi thaa......

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Tum aa gaye ho ; Noor aa gaya hai
Chalo teeno picture chalen.....

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Mein tere pyar mein paagal hua chhaliye
Mein tere pyar mein paagal hua chhaliye,
iodex maliye kaam pe chaliye

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Zindagi ki raah mushkil hain to kiya huaa.
Thora sa tum chalo,thora sa main...phir Rikshaa kar lenge..

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Gum woh cheez hai ...
Wah Wah..! Kya dard hai!
Gum woh cheez hai ...

Jisse paper chipkaya jaata hai

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

http://www.aslimasti.com/html/humor/shayari/index3.html
page 4.

Jokes on friends

Main ghar late aaya tho Dad ne pucha: "Where were you?"
Maine kaha: "Friend ke ghar tha."
Dad ne mere hi saamne mere 10 friends ko call kiya.
4 ne kaha: "Haan Uncle, Yahin par tha."
2 ne kaha: "Abhi just nikla hai."
3 ne kaha: "Yahin hai Uncle, Padh raha hai, Phone du kya?"
1 ne tho had hi kar di, kaha: "Haan Papa bolo kya hua"...!!!
=))

Santa Banta Jokes - Season 1

बंता: इन आलू के परांठो में आलू नजर नहीं आ रहे हैं?
संता: यार नाम पर मत जा! कश्मीरी पुलाव में कभी कश्मीर नज़र आता है क्या?

संता: डाक्टर साहब, कोई लम्बी उम्र का तरीका बताइए?
डाक्टर: शादी कर लो!
संता: क्या इससे उम्र लम्बी हो जाएगी?
डाक्टर: नहीं, ये तमन्ना ख़त्म हो जायेगी!

संता और बंता शतरंज खेल रहे हैं!
संता: चल यार अब बंद करते हैं!
बंता: हाँ ठीक है! वैसे भी मेरा एक हाथी और आपका एक घोड़ा ही तो बचा है!

संता: एक आदमी गंजा है फिर भी रोज सलून जाता है!
बंता: क्यों?
संता: क्योंकि सलून उसका है!

http://www.santabanta.com/trivia.asp?sms=1&catid=32&page=3
(over till 31-40)

Santa banta Jokes

टीचर: जिस हिसाब से आपके बेटे के नम्बर आते हैं उस हिसाब से एक बात तो मैं यकीन से कह सकती हूँ!
संता: क्या?
टीचर: वह नकल बिल्कुल नहीं मारता!

संता: तुम एक बार में कितने आदमी उठा सकते हो?
पहलवान: कम से कम 16!
संता: धत, तुमसे अच्छा तो मेरा मुर्गा है जो सुबह पूरे मोहल्ले को उठा देता है!

संता: इंडियन फिल्म इंडस्ट्री में सबसे पहला किसका ईमेल आई डी था?
बंता: नहीं पता?
संता: शम्मी कपूर! क्योंकि वो ही सबसे पहले बोला याहूऊऊऊऊ ...!

Season 1 - Jokes on Baniya

What is faster then a 1 rupee coin descending down the hill?
A Baniya running behind it.

Baniya ne sheikh ko khoon dey k uski jaan bachai.
Sheikh ne usay MERCEDEZ gift kardi.
Sheikh ko phir khoon ki zarorut pari,
Baniya ne phir khoon dia.
Ab k bar Sheikh ne till waly laddu gift kiye,
Baniya:Ghusse se, mercedez kion nahi di?
Sheikh:Munna...!! Ab hamarey ander bhi baniye ka khoon dor raha hay

Baniya ask to Taxi Driver: CP wale gurudware jayega kya?
Taxi Driver: Han jaon ga.
Baniya ne jaib se lunchbox nikala or kaha:
Wapsi main langar ka khana lete aana.

Teacher: Tumhare papa 500 rupees loan lete hai. 10% interest ke hisab se woh 1 saal baad loan vapis karte hai. Batao kitne paise vapis karenge?
Bania’s son: Kuch bhi nahi.
Teacher: Tum maths nahi jante.
Banis’s son: Main toh maths janta hoon, par aap mere papa ko nahi jante.

Season 2 - Wife-Husband Jokes

Wife to husband, "U don't LOVE Me at all."
Husband points towards their 5 children & says,"Do u think I downloaded these from google?"..

Person and Chemist

Person: Give me Poison
Chemist: Show prescription
Person: Shows Marriage Card
Chemist: Pagle rulaayega kya, choti bottle duin ya badi.

Season 1 - Jokes on Marriage

'Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing.. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.' --- Anonymous

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong. ---Rodney Dangerfield

'There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage.' ---Sam Kinison

The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.... ---------- Nash

The great question ... which I have not been able to answer ... is, 'What does a woman want? --- Dumas

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together. --- Sacha Guitry

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met. ----Henny Youngman

You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to. ----- Anonymous

I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me. ---- Sigmund Freud


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When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.. David Bissonette

By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy.. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher. ----- Socrates

Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them. --------Anonymous

I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me, and the second one didn't.' --- James Holt McGavra

A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: 'Wife wanted'. Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: 'You can have mine.' Anonymous

First Guy (proudly): 'My wife's an angel!'
Second Guy: 'You're lucky, mine's still alive.'
Anonymous

Why this blog

This blog has been created because I think humor is essential part of life. For nything happiness is must. And humor gives a smile to the person listening it i.e. Start towards happiness.

So this blog has been created for jokes on topic that I feel are interesting.